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You are Invited to the Funeral of My Youth

I’ve been considering this for the past few weeks. At first Steve was under the impression that I was suffering from Post Pardum Depression. Now he says I’m experiencing, Post Pardum(ness): The act of being Post Pardum. My whole life has changed and I think I’m mourning the loss of my youth. So after careful consideration, I’ve decided that the time has come to lay my youth to rest and get through the 5 stages of Mourning as fast as I can.

1. Denial – Well its obvious that I’ve moved past the denial stage. I’m planning the funeral for goodness sake.
2. Anger – Does Sarcasm count as anger?
3. Bargaining – So does bargaining mean trying to find a babysitter so I can still go out and party?
4. Depression – Hey why dont we just skip this step all together?
5. Acceptance – I think at this point I may start all over again. Because I may never come to terms with the death of my youth.

I would like to fashion the funeral after a traditional wake. We’ll lay it up on the table, talk about the good ole times. There will be drinks, laughs and I’m sure a few tears. Mainly shed by me.

My 25th birthday is coming up July 23rd. What better time, and with what greater significance can I have the funeral than on July 22nd?

I hope I’m not still in the Denial stage because I could just act like I never planned this at all and read the 7th Harry Potter Book that night……

Anonymous - May 22, 2007 - 12:28 pm

OMG girlie you will so be missed
:( who will i blow bubbles with? throw things out and most importantly sign with, cause this must me summer love :)
well let me know the date and time and i will be there with my fo de !!!

becki - May 22, 2007 - 12:38 pm

Where shall I send flowers?

Anonymous - May 23, 2007 - 4:18 pm

You have a great point. I’ve always considered the 25th birthday the end of youth. But then again you’re as young as you act. Isn’t that what they say? I’ve seen the way you act and I’m thinking you’re still 16

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The many definitions of puke

Puke: The best way to express your disgust at a person, thing, or action.
i.e. PUKE!

Fake Puke: This is best saved for use at work, when it is not in your best interest to actually puke.
i.e. If she starts to fake cry, I will fake puke.

Internal Vomit: This happens unexpectedly. It is usually caused when something particularly disgusting catches you off guard.
i.e. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Soul Vomit: When something or someone does something so morally wrong that your soul revolts.
i.e. I think my soul just threw up.

Baby Vomit, AKA Spit Up: You will never understand motherhood until you’ve rocked a baby to sleep in the middle of the night only to have it wake up and spit-up down your cleavage.

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